My Impressions: How to keep people from pushing your buttons

This is a tool book for keeping people from pushing your buttons.  Since I’m an Asian Male, I definitely have temper issues.  I want to blame it to both genetics and upbringing.  But then again, I want to be my own man and be a better man.  Often times I identify closely with fictional character Sameen from the TV show, Person of Interest – self diagnosed with Axis II Personality Disorder, basically means I rarely feel anything except for anger.  Graduated college/MBA, happy?  Nothing.  Parents didn’t come to either ceremony, sad?  Nothing.  Got a job, happy?  Nothing.  Got laid off, sad?  ANGER!!

So I got this book because: 1. It was on sale for 1.99, and 2. I wanted to fix my anger issues. The book claims it is not a “think positive quickie,” but rather a tool book to teach you a specific skillset against people pressing your buttons.

How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons

There are exercises that I believe are helpful to developing this skill.  You have to really do it like any exercise book to actually improve the skill.  I’m in the opinion that most people fail at improvement is because they think they “know it” once they “understand it.”  I’m on the side of, “If you don’t live it, you don’t know it.”  Being financially responsible or eating healthy is not rocket science.   Most people “know it.”  But they don’t live it.  If that’s the case, then, do you really know it?  If you bought a TV for 300 and a sound system for 500, would you hand a check for 2,000?  No. 
300 + 500 = 800.  It sounds dumb enough.  You know the math.  You live what you know.  Then why don’t you live other things you know?  

Anyway, my understanding of meditation is very limited.  But to me, the skills in this book are a breakdown of steps on how to meditate.  Instead of just being all zen-like or sleeping while sitting, you try to find internal peace. 

     Separate your thoughts from you. 

     Look at yourself from a 3^rd person. 

     Look at your reactions from a 3^rd person. 

     Look at your feelings from a 3^rd person. 

     Look at how ridiculous you reacted.  Then don’t do that. 

Like any skill, this takes conscious effort and practice to develop.  

The book gives a solid 4-step framework tool to use anytime you feel like your buttons are being pushed.  Just these two days, I had a few instances: Dumb ass on the road making me furious, speculating options making me anxious, and some regretful mistakes I keep on thinking about.  I walked through the steps.  I feel less jumpy.  I guess the most important piece is having a very specific tool instead of trying to wing it and calm yourself down.  

In addition, the last few chapter of the book actually goes through very specific examples that are very relevant and very real for everyday life.  How to deal with the boss, with a spouse, with kids, job interview…etc.  It’s a good template to get started on.  I’d recommend it.